Pinging Jays

Slashed!

2011-06-02T23:44:00.000+05:30

One fine day Slash went to jail and some months later he was released. We know coz Jerry met him at his guitarists' hangout and told us all abt it... Another guitarist stood up for a welcome back speech... "Today we have with us back Slash!!!!!! All put your hands together for a huge applause and sit back to listen to him play!"

Those days Jerry used to work as a part time IT guy, part time news reporter and all time guitarist.. He promptly sent his boss at the news paper this report - 'Slash escapes from prison!'

Why did he do so?

\ is an escape char! :)

From the other side.. of the..

2009-05-20T16:51:00.002+05:30

DMS: 'they all fell silent'
DMS: 'they all shut up'
DG: they -> ??
DMS: ~next two lines still in the press~
DMS: they = v1 n v2
DMS: so DG..
DG: in that case, 'all' should not be used
DMS: arey u r from a restricted side of the firewall
DMS: they includes more
DMS: but can't tell u ;)
DMS: just displaying the total size by saying 'they'...

Work is Mad

2009-05-12T01:30:00.001+05:30

From elementary physics, we know:

Work (W) = Force (F) x Displacement (D)

thus, W = F.D --- (1)

Now, Force (F) = Mass (M) x Acceleration (A)

thus, F = M.A --- (2)

Replacing (2) in (1),

W = MAD …. thus proved

YweNited NayShuns

2009-05-07T20:43:00.002+05:30

Q. If Kofi Annan were Tamilian,what would his name be?
A. Coffee Anna.

during a chat with Cute Craig!

2009-03-28T11:30:00.002+05:30

Q - What would you call Mary if you ran a flowers nursery?
A - Christanthemum!

Shetty and Nadu !

2009-03-05T04:10:00.003+05:30

1.
Shetty: "Abey $%$%# jaa na, ek chai le ke aa neeche ja ke ... chal "
(nadu enters the room)
nadu: "kya bola bey ?"
Shetty: "mai .. leke aata hoo na .. aap kay ko takleef !"

2.
Shetty: "itna bhi nai aata tere ko ... hatt .. aur 1 mahine mein Guitar seekhne aate hai!"
(nadu enters the room)

Nadu: "Shetty, mere ko 3 ghante mein guitar seekhne ka hai .. jaldi kar, time nai hai mere pass"
Shetty:"3 Ghanta ? arre mein toh 2 minute mein seekha doonga.. baith na yaar!"

3.
Shetty: "arre kahe ke hero ... star hoga apne ghar ka hoga ...
Shahrukh khan .. shakal se bevda lagta hai .. smoker saala"
Someone:" and .. Aamir .. uska kya, Shetty ?"
Shetty: "Abey Aamir toh aise hi .. choclate hero .. nakli
Asli mard ek hi hai .. Salmaan !1 haan .. yaad rakho ..."
(nadu enters the room)
Nadu: "Salmaan ... kya baatein ho rahi thi idher ?"
Shetty: . "Salmaan .. naam suna hua hai .. err . kaun hai yeh ?"

Fantasy ends !!!

Wishes sir!

2008-11-28T12:36:00.007+05:30

It is the birthday today of one of the contributors to this blog.. Actions and intentions may not agree, he says.. so we will be assuming that ..

....Sorry, I have forgotten during the course of the day, what is it we should be assuming! But we will never forget, and strive to remember is: Collectively, we are all One, Good will triumph and reign! Evil is just filling its ghadas of paap.. (jars of sin)

Do enjoy the day Mr. Bean!

Call the obituarist plz!

2008-11-22T17:39:00.004+05:30

This blog is almost dead owing to a major lack of interest among the members and an even major lack of readers!

It seems it will be revived only upon demand, and that seems highly unlikely, so I might as well begin calling the undertaker and order the coffin.

Cough, sneeze!!!! Pinging Jays is a-coughin...!

Interesting Clients

2008-07-23T23:00:00.003+05:30

Dan: And what work do you do in Infosys?
S: I taste.
Dan: Taste? or test?
S: Both.
Dan: both???? Since when did Infy start such tasting services?
S: Haven't you heard of Infy's testing services?
Dan: Oye, don't you tell me abt Infy's testing services : I know it just too well.
S: You still ask?
Dan: Tell me what account do you work for!
S: :-) Starbucks!
Dan: Aaah! :P
:-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-:
GTM: ABC, please wait here, we'll call you in some time and tell you abt ur account.
ABC: Whattt! how do u know abt my bank account??!
GTM: Silly, account meaning we'll tell you what client you'll work for.
ABC: Oh ok. I'll wait in B8.
After some time this GTM calls ABC and..
GTM: ABC, you are being allowed to choose your account. Which one do you want?
ABC has a hearing problem. He doesn't understand what the GTM says. He thinks he is being asked, whr was he sitting. He replies-
ABC: 8 na? B8.
Our GTM too doesn't hear it very clearly.
GTM: Aetna be it? ok.. Aetna be it!
:-)) ABC begins work with Aetna.

The original Baniya series

2008-07-17T15:55:00.002+05:30

The inspiration was a baniya :)

1. You want to ask a small rabbit to come near you.. what will you say? (in marathi) (clue: imagine that you are a kid that watches all cartoons on TV, what will you say then?)
A: Bunny ya, baniya,....

2. What will a trader of corriander be called in Hindi?
A: Dhaniya-baniya

3. What does a baniya wear?
A: Baniyan

4. What does a baniya eat for breakfast?
A: Buns

5. What pets does a baniya have?
A: Bunnys

The above 5 made others add more to the series, especially Shirish. Do plz collate all and post them!

The Prateep Series

2008-07-17T15:20:00.002+05:30

Here's my very old PP-PJ (Prateep-Pradip PJ) I had made up in 2006. For some reason you've called it complex :)

Prateep returns from a long time onsite at London and his friend Pradip returns from a long time onsite at Frankfurt. They meet in office at Pune and after the initial hellos and oohs and aahs, things come to telephone numbers.
Prateep: Hey what's ur cell no.?
Pradip: 9899344712. What's yours? Have you bought a sim card?
Prateep: 9..9..5..4..4..1..5..6..7..2..
Pradip: Arey don't tell me your landline number! Give me yur cell no.!
Why does Pradip think Prateep is telling him his landline number?
Becoz, his number begins with '9 9' (nein nein) meaning 'no no' in the german language! :-))) So he thinks Prateep doesn't have a sim card.

Here's another one in the series - inspired by my same teammate + cubiclemate Prateep:

Prateep's teamies congratulate him on his TT victory. "Prateep, treat!!!!" they say. He calls them to B12 for the treat and serves everyone tea. He then sits down to drink tea, the others are puzzled.
"Prateep, let's have everything else - the other snacks also right now."
"Everything else? Hey there's only tea" Prateep says.
"Whatttt" quips Guru. "Just tea?"
"Of course - it's a T T treat...!:) "

HB NARASIMHAN!

2008-07-17T10:32:00.003+05:30

Narsi! Our friend who initiated this genre of PJs and inspired us to follow in his footsteps.. It is his bday today (still his bday in the US now..)
HAPpY BiRThDAy NArSI!

The Texas Series

2008-07-17T10:23:00.003+05:30

Reku goes to Texas and alights from the airplane. She hears something.. Someone gasping for air.. Breathing heavily.. She gets frightened... O who might it be!!!!
Uttam: "It's me Reks.. It's me u r hearing.."
Reks: "But are u suffocating or something? Is someone smothering u?"
Uttam: "No! I'm just breathing.."
Reks: "This hard?"
*
*
*
Uttam: "They said Texas... Take saans..."
:-)
Arun, do post your Texas PJ!

2008-07-02T13:03:00.002+05:30

there was this actress who was fed up with her job.
For security reasons we cant' disclose her name!
So she decided to join a detective agency on fine day.
Her boss - Tingya Teli (known as TT in this part of world) gave her a surveillance assignment.

So there she went in search of a deadly don - mamu khopdi. She soon found him near a restaurant and went in. But mamu was not so mamu after all. He took a shaarp turn and aimed the revolver at the actress.
An assistant of TT saw this - he was on a similar assignment in same hotel. But he could not scream the actress's name as it would give her away....
so the High IQ'd assistant yelled a biscuit's name several times...
The actress looked back .. and the bullet just brushed her 56783th hair....

Q: what was the actress's name and what is the name of the Biscuit??

A: Reema Lagu ....
the asstiant yelled ... "Marie" .. several times....

Amen

File handling

2008-06-26T04:18:00.002+05:30

How do you send a 4 GB file to someone without using shared drive/Gtalk/Email?

Ans - Transfer the file to an 80 GB hard disk. Glue a rhinoceros to this hard disk. Glue an elephant to this rhinoceros. Take the entire apparatus to Lucknow. Due to this, UP mein load ho gaya. UP-LOAD ho gaya

(My original)

All in a day's work

2008-06-17T11:44:00.003+05:30

There was this Autonomy release that was going to happen, but it didn't. And why?
Autonomy called out to the project manager: "No me no me!!"
Automatically he was pushed to the next release.

What sport did the Menu in a web application like ?
Basket ball
Why did it like basket ball?
They always bounced the menu :D

Mad, am I?

2008-06-10T15:07:00.003+05:30

Amar and Akbar were the best of friends. So good, the whole area knew about them. In fact, they were separated only in flesh and blood. So close were they that when Amar fell down and lost his sanity, Akbar lost his too. They were thus admitted to the Gonsalves Hospital for the Differently Abled! It has been five years that they both have spent here, without much displeasure one would say; as even in their state of mind (or the lack of it) they seemed to enjoy; just that the world now functioned differently! Anyway, it was just yesterday that they were walking by the swimming pool specially constructed for them. And it was by accident, the witnesses say that Akbar fell into the pool. Amar to everyone's surprise followed pretty quickly, swam the depth and rescued his friend.

The hospital authorities were indeed impressed, and a lot more shocked, and thereby declared Amar (who had shown terrific improvement in the recent past) was of a stable mind and that he could be now discharged to resume a normal life. This news hadn't reached Amar yet as he was with his dearest friend; by his side all the time. When the authorities called in Amar to give him the good news he was elated. They told, "You could resume your life". However, with all good things cometh a certain bad thing too. The peons rushed in saying, Akbar hung himself to death in the bathroom! To which, Amar politely replied with a smile... "Oh no! It was me. He fell into the pool and was all drenched. I put him there to dry him..."

ek chutkula...

2008-06-10T15:00:00.002+05:30

There was this reasonably young man who had just two strands of hair remaining on his head. It was solely due to this that he thought he never ever could get a girlfriend; forget getting married. However, after a long wait he did get a loved one. The one he had waited all his life; or so he thought. For she, on the mention of marriage left him forever, stranded with no one but the two strands on his head. "If at all", he thought aloud, "if at all we had been married, she would have stayed back at least for the sake. And I wouldn't have had to face this loneliness all alone!"

Thinking so, he was reminded of his hair. Some call it childishness and some insanity; but to him what he decided to do wasn't inane. It was the heart that had gone berserk and not the brains. He decided to get the two strands married off; forever. So, they do not feel alone - ever! But as fate would have it, there was a lot of opposition and the wedding couldn't really happen...

Why?

At the project party

2008-06-07T21:09:00.001+05:30

Team member #1: Whats for dessert?
Team member #2: Sahara, Kalahari, Gobi

I was sitting next to Team Member #2.

Created at Wonder Funkey

2008-06-05T23:21:00.003+05:30

1* If you had cattle and they were funny, what would they be called?
Ans: Laughing stock
[Instead of livestock]

2* Someone called out to a Bollywood villain, but instead a model / actress turned up. What was called out?
Ans: Gul
[Gulshan Grover - Gul Panag]

Jadooooooooo

2008-06-03T09:02:00.002+05:30

Scene: One night at 5 Star....

Denizens immersed in a game or cards.

Curly resident enters after a hard day work.

Takes all the cards in his hands and asks smugly..." Kisko Jadoo dekhna hai ?"

All in glee " humein ...humein ... shetty jadoo dikhana "

Shetty ...." Jaake Koi Mil gaya dekho B-| "

Stunned silence followed by ripping laughter. Moustache Man faints. Rest conspire to get back to curly freak when his gaurd is down.

Moral of the story: Always carry a VCD of KOI MIL GAYA on you.

You are now one step closer to being a street magician.

Come one come all!

2008-06-03T00:32:00.000+05:30

Welcome guys, to the world of PJs - the most absurd, exasperating, irritating, ughh-why-did-i-listen-to-it PJs :-)) Good PJs are those that are all that n more... Keep coming back for more such pee'ing jays...

We promise we'll keep the art of PJ'ing alive! Come to appreciate art!