Thursday 26 June 2008

File handling

How do you send a 4 GB file to someone without using shared drive/Gtalk/Email?

Ans - Transfer the file to an 80 GB hard disk. Glue a rhinoceros to this hard disk. Glue an elephant to this rhinoceros. Take the entire apparatus to Lucknow. Due to this, UP mein load ho gaya. UP-LOAD ho gaya

(My original)

Tuesday 17 June 2008

All in a day's work

There was this Autonomy release that was going to happen, but it didn't. And why?
Autonomy called out to the project manager: "No me no me!!"
Automatically he was pushed to the next release.

What sport did the Menu in a web application like ?
Basket ball
Why did it like basket ball?
They always bounced the menu :D

Tuesday 10 June 2008

Mad, am I?

Amar and Akbar were the best of friends. So good, the whole area knew about them. In fact, they were separated only in flesh and blood. So close were they that when Amar fell down and lost his sanity, Akbar lost his too. They were thus admitted to the Gonsalves Hospital for the Differently Abled! It has been five years that they both have spent here, without much displeasure one would say; as even in their state of mind (or the lack of it) they seemed to enjoy; just that the world now functioned differently! Anyway, it was just yesterday that they were walking by the swimming pool specially constructed for them. And it was by accident, the witnesses say that Akbar fell into the pool. Amar to everyone's surprise followed pretty quickly, swam the depth and rescued his friend.

The hospital authorities were indeed impressed, and a lot more shocked, and thereby declared Amar (who had shown terrific improvement in the recent past) was of a stable mind and that he could be now discharged to resume a normal life. This news hadn't reached Amar yet as he was with his dearest friend; by his side all the time. When the authorities called in Amar to give him the good news he was elated. They told, "You could resume your life". However, with all good things cometh a certain bad thing too. The peons rushed in saying, Akbar hung himself to death in the bathroom! To which, Amar politely replied with a smile... "Oh no! It was me. He fell into the pool and was all drenched. I put him there to dry him..."

ek chutkula...

There was this reasonably young man who had just two strands of hair remaining on his head. It was solely due to this that he thought he never ever could get a girlfriend; forget getting married. However, after a long wait he did get a loved one. The one he had waited all his life; or so he thought. For she, on the mention of marriage left him forever, stranded with no one but the two strands on his head. "If at all", he thought aloud, "if at all we had been married, she would have stayed back at least for the sake. And I wouldn't have had to face this loneliness all alone!"

Thinking so, he was reminded of his hair. Some call it childishness and some insanity; but to him what he decided to do wasn't inane. It was the heart that had gone berserk and not the brains. He decided to get the two strands married off; forever. So, they do not feel alone - ever! But as fate would have it, there was a lot of opposition and the wedding couldn't really happen...

Why?

Saturday 7 June 2008

At the project party

Team member #1: Whats for dessert?
Team member #2: Sahara, Kalahari, Gobi

I was sitting next to Team Member #2.

Thursday 5 June 2008

Created at Wonder Funkey

1* If you had cattle and they were funny, what would they be called?
Ans: Laughing stock
[Instead of livestock]

2* Someone called out to a Bollywood villain, but instead a model / actress turned up. What was called out?
Ans: Gul
[Gulshan Grover - Gul Panag]

Tuesday 3 June 2008

Jadooooooooo

Scene: One night at 5 Star....

Denizens immersed in a game or cards.

Curly resident enters after a hard day work.

Takes all the cards in his hands and asks smugly..." Kisko Jadoo dekhna hai ?"

All in glee " humein ...humein ... shetty jadoo dikhana "

Shetty ...." Jaake Koi Mil gaya dekho B-| "

Stunned silence followed by ripping laughter. Moustache Man faints. Rest conspire to get back to curly freak when his gaurd is down.

Moral of the story: Always carry a VCD of KOI MIL GAYA on you.

You are now one step closer to being a street magician.

Come one come all!

Welcome guys, to the world of PJs - the most absurd, exasperating, irritating, ughh-why-did-i-listen-to-it PJs :-)) Good PJs are those that are all that n more... Keep coming back for more such pee'ing jays...

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